My Story
I was born in London, had an early stint in India as a toddler, then moved back to India at 7, Dubai at 9, and back to the UK at 13.
During those years I was traumatised by separation from my father, violence from a teacher and abuse from someone my family knew.
Returning to the UK at 13, I encountered racism and violent bullying at school. By 15 I was reeling with emotional pain and desperate to escape life. Looking for love and acceptance in the wrong places, I found myself in trouble with the law.
It was in the middle of all of this that I received Jesus into my heart. In the middle of turmoil, I found a true friend.
"He heals the wounds of every shattered heart."
Psalm 147:3
Through my teens and twenties, the pain worked its way out through negative behaviour patterns, addictions and unhealthy relationships.
One thing I never lost though was the sense of the reality of God and His hand on my life.
My past along with my destructive, sinful lifestyle took its toll. During this desperate season, I wanted to hurt myself and found it hard to go outside during the day. I was a walking zombie.
It was in that desperate place that I told God I had made a mess and gave Him the Lordship of my life. Immediately a ton of weight lifted off me.
The VERY NEXT DAY, He sent a pastor into my life, who took me under her wing and helped me heal and grow.
In 1996, I moved to Brighton where I experienced further healing and growth — and where I met and married my German husband Robert. God knew exactly what I needed, and Robert has been a great part of my restoration.
In 2003, we moved to Germany to attend Bible school and I have been teaching and ministering ever since — in churches, Bible schools, conferences and prayer groups across Germany and the UK, in English and German.
Here's the unexpected twist.
Years into my walk with God, already in ministry, my body and soul had symptoms of suffering. My nervous system was shot. And with it came confusion and feelings of failure. I knew the Word. I knew my identity in Christ.
And yet here I was.
"I should be further along than this with all I know. But I couldn't deny what was happening in me and I wanted help. God's call on me was too strong. And I believe what He's done on the cross is enough."
So I prayed, to be honest - a desperate prayer and asked God to send me someone to talk to about this. He sent first a coach who helped unpack things, and then a Christian specialist in EMDR, a clinically proven approach to help heal chronic post traumatic stress disorder. Prayer was woven into every session. God surprised me with this move but I knew He was in it.
In hindsight, I equate it to having surgery on the body when you are led to have it. I've experienced healing and things have progressed in record speed.
My husband witnesses to the difference and I have been able to move forward like never before.
When I asked Him "Why now?" He replied, "You needed this much Word in you to go through this. I'm changing your hard drive."
I share this because I know there are believers who are confessing, praying and standing in faith — and still suffering in silence. It doesn't mean your faith is insufficient. God heals through His Word, through His Spirit — and sometimes through the skilled hands of people He has specifically trained for this purpose. He meets us where we are and we are led and approach it with faith. He met me where I was.
Healing belongs to us. Jesus paid the price for it.
Alongside my teaching and ministry, I have recently rediscovered a lifelong love — poetry. I write honest, faith-filled words about what it means to go through loss, grief, shame and restoration, and discover that what remains on the other side, what is redeemed, is richer than ever.
Poetry reaches somewhere deeper — directly into the place where grief actually lives, where longing actually lives. It doesn't explain the feeling. It is the feeling. For those not yet ready to receive teaching, a poem can be the thing that first opens the door to God.
You can find my poetry on Instagram at @what.remains
The early part of my life left me with deep compassion for the traumatised and the hurting. Out of that compassion flows a healing anointing from God. I teach, proclaim Jesus, share my story and help introduce the sick and broken-hearted to the love of God.
Came to Life is about receiving the revelation of who we are in our risen identity in Christ — and allowing that to transform us. No matter what you have been through or how broken you feel, it is possible.
Even if you feel stuck or that progress is slow — keep going forward with your eyes fixed on the finished work of Jesus. You are unconditionally loved by God. He is for you. And that changes everything.
